It’s that time of year again when we begin to take stock and reflect on our biggest accomplishments of the year. In these moments of reflection, some of us may be inclined to see our flaws and start setting lofty goals that are difficult to achieve in the new year. While a new year is a fresh start full of opportunities, we often face intense pressure to achieve a better version of ourselves.
Unfortunately, there is an unspoken rule that resolutions should be to the extreme of all or nothing. Our competitive culture instills in us the idea that if we don’t succeed at something, we punish ourselves and we may end up hurting ourselves more. This pressure to perform well and achieve these unreasonable goals may cause us to fail rather than help us succeed. Research shows that only 8% of people who make New Year's resolutions stick to them throughout the year, and 80% give up in February. Some reasons why people fail to keep goals moving include existing extreme behaviors (all or nothing behavior), having little or no accountability, or setting goals that are not measurable.
The problem with these types of goals is that before you know it, they can lead to some level of self-sabotage. The idea is that we aim high and set high goals, but life doesn’t always work that way. If you don't achieve your goals with ease, you may find yourself failing more. When we fail, it can have a negative impact on our mental health and can keep us stuck in a vicious cycle of old habits.
You can make healthy resolutions by following these steps:
- Stay rational. Expect yourself to fail sometimes, and know that results may change slowly. Understand that situations and things in your life can get in the way of your goals, so try to make sure your goals are healthy and achievable without compromising your physical and mental health.
- Create a timeline. Try to avoid being rigid with your schedule, and understand that your schedule shouldn't be compared to anyone else's. It’s more proactive and efficient to set small, incremental goals rather than high expectations.
- Monitor progress. Know that nothing changes overnight, so it may be helpful to find an accountability partner to help you monitor your progress. Keep a journal to express how you feel about your progress and record how you feel about your goals and obstacles you face.
- Allow for flexibility. Provide yourself with flexibility and give yourself grace. If you don’t do well this month, try your best next month! Instead of trying to set goals that may not benefit your mental health, look for activities that make you happy.
A new year doesn’t have to be a new you. Spend time doing fun and adventurous things and prioritize your health instead of punishing yourself. If you find that you have trouble giving yourself grace and stressing yourself out, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide more tools on how to set goals and establish healthy boundaries with yourself.
